Becoming a Teaspoon
by x0 steal my heart
Summary: Ron's thoughts before he's paid a visit in the infimary on his birthday. OneShot.


**A/N:** I needed a break from You're Something Else. Mostly because I'm sorta stuck on the next chapter so heres a quick one. Based in HBP. You know where Ron's in the Hospital Wing, but I dont need to tell you about that. So here it is.

**Disclaimer:** **I didn't make up these characters**. These amazing characters are made up by the genius J.K Rowling, and J.K Rowling alone.  
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Revenge sometimes leaves a bitter taste in your mouth was something Ron's Mum use to tell him. She was right and who was he really getting revenge on? He'd been angry with Hermione and well to be honest he hadn't really ever kissed anyone before but that wasn't the point. **She** had snogged Viktor Krum and he thought…well he hoped that she had feelings for him.

Things between them were better in Fifth year and despite the fact she **still** wrote to Vicky he kept his thoughts to himself. They had four weeks together before Harry arrived and they spent the time learning about each other. He knew things about her that Vicky would never know and that Cormac could never possible dream of knowing. He knew she stirred her tea four times before taking the first sip, he knew that she hated her eggs over easy and that she liked her toast a bit burnt, and he knew her. He knew the shape of her face, the way her fingers were stained with ink, and he knew the exactly what each little noise she made meant.

In those weeks before Harry arrived they talked and he found that he liked talking to her. He still liked to argue but he also liked hearing what she had to say. Of course there were exceptions like her views on Kreacher but honestly most everything else was brilliant. She told him she wanted to be there and she wanted to spend the summer with he and Harry. She'd said you and Harry. He came first and he felt a bit more secure in his feelings for her.

This summer she came too full days before Harry did, it was the soonest she could get away, and they spent a lot of time by the pond discussing the war. Yes, they talked about Harry but there was more to it than that. They discussed Percy and the new Minister of Magic. The talked about how they were afraid and they agreed no matter what they would stick together—Come what may. She had shown him the scar that she received from the battle in the Department of Mysteries. It was just a hint but she said it ran from her stomach directly over her heart. He admitted that he was afraid he lost her and blushed as he said it. He let her trace her fingertips over the scars from the brains and told her about the dreams he kept having because of them.

He believed that they had moved forward especially after she asked him to the Christmas party but Ginny ruined it. No, he couldn't blame it on Ginny because it was him that got jealous and when Lavender offered him the chance to get a bit of experience he took it. Who wouldn't have but he hurt Hermione and as much as he hated to admit it he deserved having the canaries sic'd on him.

It didn't take him long to realize that snogging wasn't what he was looking for. Well that wasn't exactly true…He was looking for snogging with more…he was looking for what Hermione could give him. She knew **him**; she knew he was more than Harry's sidekick. She knew that he would lay down his life for Harry or for her. She knew the way he liked his cocoa and she knew his fears. She was his rock and without her he felt unanchored.

He admitted as much to Harry over Christmas and he told Harry that maybe he did want something more than he was getting with Lavender. It seemed as if every time he tried to break it off she seemed to get more demanding and he was a normal teenage boy wasn't he? He tried to renew his friendship with Hermione because he needed her and she turned away but he really didn't blame her. He had wanted to be worthy of her and he understood now. He loved her and she would never believe him. When he saw the future it wasn't girls like Lavender he saw…it was Hermione. Hermione with her ink stained fingers, with her bossy attitude, and the fiercely loyal Hermione. He wanted to be the one to dry her tears despite the fact he was the one who made her cry in the first place.

Here he was in the hospital wing and all he wanted to do is say he was sorry. His life flashed before him when he lay there on the floor burning up inside from that bloody poison. He saw her that day on the train, the tears that flooded her eyes the moment he called her a nightmare, and the look in her eyes when he stumbled through that classroom door with Lavender.

He stared at the ceiling longing for someone to talk to and he wondered if Madam Pomfrey would notice if he snuck out to find Hermione. He wanted to talk to her and he needed to see her because right now he had the courage to admit he was wrong.

He heard the door to the infirmary open and he slid his hand under his pillow to pull his wand out. He heard a feminine voice whisper "Muffaliato." He kept his hand tight around his wand and pretended to be sleeping. He heard the chair slide away from his bed, he heard the rustle of fabric, and his heart raced when a familiar hand clutched his.

"Ron?" She whispered softly. "I know you're not sleeping because I've seen you fall asleep enough in History of Magic."

"Hermione," He opened his eyes and stared at her. "You nearly scared the life out of me."

He was stunned when her lower lip trembled, her eyes welled with tears, and she threw herself against him. He caught her in his arms as she hid her face in his pajama top and he felt her shoulders shake as she sobbed.

"Don't ever say that," She sobbed. "Do you know how scared…Ron you almost died."

He could feel her tears wetting his pajama top and for once it seemed like he knew exactly what to do. He stroked her hair and whispered that he was sorry, that he would never do it again, and she just cried harder. Her sobs tore at him and he scooted into a sitting position and pulled her onto the bed with him. He tightened his arms around her and her hands clutched the material of his pajamas.

She drew back after a moment and wiped her eyes and her cheeks flushed a bright shade of red.

"I'm sorry," She mumbled and lowered her gaze as she continued to wipe the tears still streaming from her eyes. He reached up with his hand and brushed a few of her tears away with his thumb. He could see his fingers trembling and he hoped the dark hide that fact from her.

"For what?" He brought her chin up so he could see her eyes. "Hermione you don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one who's sorry. I made a right mess of everything and I hurt you…" He stammered. "I'm so sorry."

Her eyes widened and she took a deep breath, "No, I…I mean I had no claim on you."

Ron chuckled and she glared at him, "You can't see that you did. You still do…Hermione I…Lavender isn't you and I…"

"Our friendship is more than this," Hermione sniffled. "I shouldn't have shut you out. I mean…I was hurt of course but," Her eyes welled again. "I didn't even get you a birthday present."

Ron cleared his throat several times before speaking again. He took her hand and squeezed it tightly. This was his moment, his chance to set everything between them right, and he could just let them go back to being friends. He could do the safe thing but that would mean that he was giving up on something he wanted for so long and he couldn't do it.

"Hermione, I guess," He stammered again. "Look, I fancy you and I have for a long time but I got scared because this thing between us is real and," He paused as she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you and I want to be with you and only with you…if you'll take a chance."

She blinked several times and without warning her lips claimed his and thunder crashed in his head. She wasn't timid or shy about it and his world tilted on its axis. All he could feel was Hermione wrapped around him; her scent, her touch, and it were more than he imagined and everything he dreamed. It was better than winning the Quidditch Cup and it was better than any kiss he'd ever shared with Lavender because it was the two of them.

The broke apart, eyes locked, and he raised his finger to his lips. They still tingled from her kiss and he couldn't look away from her.

"I fancy you too, Ron," She said softly. "I've been so angry with you. You let her call you Won-Won."

He cupped her face in his hands and let his thumb brush her bottom lip, "I was a prat, Hermione. I'm so sorry that I hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

She studied him carefully and gave him a short nod, "I can if you can forgive me too." She bit her lower lip and sighed. "You almost died."

"My whole life flashed in front of me," He said softly. "You were always there and I thought I'd lost my chance."

"You said my name," She whispered. "While you were sleeping you said my name."

Ron felt his cheeks heat and he dropped his gaze to his lap, "I err…I…sometimes dream about you."

He lifted his head and when she whispered, "Sometimes I dream of you too."

His eyes widened and he chuckled, "Tell me?"

She bent her head and gave him a swift kiss before lifting herself off him. She bent again and they shared a soft kiss before she whispered.

"After you end things with Lavender," She said softly. "I want to be with you."

He took her hand in his and his heart raced, "I will, Hermione. You're what I want…what I've always wanted."

She slipped the invisibility cloak over her head; "It has to stay a secret for now, Ron."

He smiled and reached for her before she could slip away. He snagged her hand and brought it to his lips.

"Yes," He noticed she was wearing the bracelet he sent her for Christmas. "It will be our secret."

"Happy Birthday, Ron," she said softly as she squeezed his hand.

He watched her slip out of the infirmary. He slumped back against his pillow and realized for the first time in months he felt whole again.

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**A/N:** Soo what did you think? Please Review


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